Let’s not demand people conform to our normality

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You recent correspondence about gay marriage prompts me to write, since I suspect at least some of the negativity is linked with ideas about homosexuality itself.

Unless this district is highly exceptional a fair number of your readers are homosexual, either solely or of mixed sexuality, whether or not they tell other people or even recognise it in themselves. So I wonder how this broad sector of the community feel about what they read.

My own understanding is that your sexual orientation is something you are born with. I am in the left-handed minority, so I have had to adjust to living in a back to front world; other people are attracted by people of the same sex as themselves. That is just how it is. So the sooner other people come to terms with you, respect you and relate to you as you actually are, the better.

This is made very much more difficult if the world says, or even thinks privately, that you are sick, or wicked, or handicapped, or guilty, or shameful, or likely to be promiscuous, or a threat to those around you.

It is hard enough knowing that you feel differently from the majority.

Of course, the more you know about human nature the better you can understand what is going on in people’s minds, and that can help to explain the way some people treat you. Anyone who is frightened or disturbed about some aspect of themselves, or confused, or worried lest other people find out, is quite likely to shout the loudest to drown or hide what they know to be true.

It is about time we came to maturity, appreciating each other for being ourselves, not judging or demanding that people conform to our normality but recognising and respecting that we have different characters and characteristics, strengths and weaknesses, gifts to give and gifts we need other people to give us, and entitled to the same range of rights and opportunities as everyone else.

Roger Seal