CRIME: Some bizarre board game?

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Having read the latest crime scores for the area quaintly titled: “Pleased but work still goes on say Police,” it makes one wonder if we are not taking part in some bizarre board game.

Crime apparently is down by a fifth in our area with assorted numbers given out for crimes, warnings and “mind how you go”s along the way.

The way crime figures are being given away free every week now in the press, it’s perhaps a question of time before it has its own column next to the ferret racing section, so one can only wonder where this is all heading.

I can see in the not too distant future that if you report a crime a nice person in a high visibility jacket will appear on the threshold, add your crime to their new-fangled tablet thing and hand out a calculator to join in at a lower gaming level and then stab a few buttons and agree on a result and subject to them being scrutinised, the percentage would be added and the winner announced in the usual way via the press and in the case of a roll-over, a raffle for a “Get out of Jail card” would be slung in the deal.

Meanwhile crime still goes on in its various forms and is only waiting for a new percentage to be quoted for it.

John Ward

Moulton Seas End