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John Ward thinks Brexit is all down to interpretation

By Spalding Today Columnist

I keep thinking there must be something exciting news-wise going on presently, like some footballer’s newly-created breed of aftershave being launched that can be elevated to prominence in the news, like it used to be as the last little while it's all being taken up with some supposed ‘negotiations’ malarkey about us leaving some club or other as a majority voted for it to happen but now it seems to be in some sort of mind-bending quarantine while its being reassessed - again.

However, it would appear that those who ran the actual raffle a couple of years ago are now not too happy with the result - apparently, it was a democratic majority result/thing, so you can see supposed ‘concerns’, as more people were involved in the decision that said ‘oft we go’ as opposed to ‘we’ll sit it out then, petal’, so to speak.

So the organising committee is having a wild stab at changing it all or checking the counterfoil of the said raffle for anything in the small print that can be changed on an almost daily/hourly basis - depending on which version of events or thereabouts we are led to believe - but then again, it's our interpretation of events, as no two things you hear are the same.

John Ward (5919569)
John Ward (5919569)

Oddly, the whole performance seems to take on a sort of an Agatha Christie-type mystery theme, as folk that voiced their opinions seem to wander off or go missing in some sort of fog or mist, then to either resign on principle (?) or decide to rest up a tad, but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

It's odd that for ages, the price of membership to anything supposed to be considered elite or ‘exclusive’ meant the membership fees were always kept high to basically keep out the supposed riff-raff, but in this instance, for leaving this seemingly-exclusive club, one is expected to pay an enormous fee not to be members any more, as we pack our mystical cricket bat, wickets, curled- up cheese and cucumber sarnies from the metaphorical pavilion catering table, then walk away, but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

Imagine if the winner of the Grand National race for gee-gees was told some of the crowd didn’t like him/her (or them collectively if you count the gee-gee in as well) winning and to go back and have another whack at it until they got the result they wanted - but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

In a similar vein, my mum (of the people for the people) once said when the local fish and chip shop was taken over by new owners, she made comment (it's like 'saying' but 'made comment' sounds better on paper) that the fish was nicely fried, ditto the chips, but the vinegar now seemed watered down and could quite possibly be like this in the current, ongoing (how long have you got?) raffle ‘negotiations’ - but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

I am quietly amazed, as an innocent bystander in some respects at times, it's interesting to know what people, real ones, and not gleaned from some ‘poll’ or ‘survey’, feel about certain topics, but in this ongoing saga - which is looking like its going to rival The Archers for longevity - what I hear with my own ears is the fact that most who voted seem to consider that either way, be it a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, that the constantly-changing deal is nothing like they thought or hoped for - but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

Nowadays, more than ever, you need to have your wits about you and be alert, as possibly people don’t listen as well as they should or perhaps their own ‘Plan B’ is to only listen to the bits they want to hear, which might explain a few things, rightly or wrongly - but perhaps, then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

One moment of misunderstanding happened not so long ago as I was talking to David, the flower-selling man in Spalding who seems to be part of the town centre fittings, about certain things that this life throws at us at times, as among the various topics we discussed recently while ‘putting the world to rights’ was the fact he has two daughters, aged six and eight.

Oddly, the conversation started off by telling him I had just seen/heard somebody explaining to A.N.Other that she had just taken a photograph of her finger (yes, really) via her mobile phone/device, then sent it on to their daughter, as there was a sale on at a jewellery outlet she had seen in a newspaper advert that morning; but the local branch had none in stock, so could she get the selected sale ring ‘about that size’ at her local branch based on the photograph image sent - no size or anything - it's trifling to bother with measurements, you understand - but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

However, to equal this, he told me he had overheard somebody telling a friend that she was having trouble buying decent-sized jumpers etc, as her head was ‘too close to her body’ or so she has been lead to believe, but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

If anybody saw us having hysterical fits that Friday morning, near buckets of perfectly innocent flowers and wondering why, this may possibly explain it, but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

Even since starting to scribble away on this, the radio in the background is still burbling away every so often with yet even more ‘news’ or ‘updates’ about events regarding this raffle, which seems to contradict what was said the other day - second, hour, week even? So I think I am losing the plot again, but looking upwards at the words so far scribbled, I must have listened to some of it while waiting to hear about a new range of some footballer’s blend of newly-created breed of aftershave being launched - but once again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

I still think my mum (of the people for the people) might have sorted this current raffle result out, with her friends who firmly believed in what she said as they trusted her decisions: as a team, Eileen would have done the sarnies, Betty with daughter Liz baked the cakes, then mum and Monica doing the tea and coffee, plus she had their interests at heart as she told those who were concerned about the watered-down vinegar at the chip shop and you can’t speak more highly than that - but then again, it's perhaps all down to interpretation.

Hint: I am available for resignation letter writing, with the option of a free fresh onion slung in for possible emotional moments when reading it out. However, due to H & S (Hinder & Stifle) regulations, the onion will have to be pre-cut for safety reasons.


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