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WARD'S WORLD: Fan mail




As I scribble away we are now part way into the second, theoretical, and unexpected (?) national holiday period of this current year although its not for everybody as some are still working away as normal, during this viral period we have had thrust upon us.

Essential services, shops, transport are once again still beavering away during this period and we should be grateful to them in more ways than one.

I must admit I do feel for the catering, restaurant and pub trade as they had barely got, or were trying to get, back on their feet when this happened.

Some of Rita's letters (43108019)
Some of Rita's letters (43108019)

Any efforts to combat this virus are welcome but no, I won’t offer any ideas as in most cases where somebody’s opinion is requested it’s nice if they have all the facts or full information of the matter.

So I cannot really comment but I have my own ideas and best kept to myself as I am not an ‘all whistles and bells professional’ .

The reason I mention this is because the supposed or presented ‘facts’ seem to change on a daily or almost an hourly basis as just as we mentally digest the ‘latest update’ stuff, it then changes.

There appears to be no conformity to the ‘news’ we are given as it changes almost on a whim within hours, minutes if you’re quick enough, but usually its so contradictory at best and that is looking – or listening – on the bright side

However, before anybody gets all uppity and thinks I am ‘having a go’ at the government, this is not the case.

I would still say this even if ‘Bongo the Clown’ from the Circus Braithwaite was dishing out the bumf as regardless of whatever party is running the country, the same would apply.

I thought I should mention this minor, itty-bitty point before anybody crosses me off their Christmas card list – yes, I actually know folk who have a reasonable size bag of conkers so that they can shell out for the forever rising cost of a humble postage stamp.

Although it works both ways: if they can let me know as soon as possible they won’t be sending a card as they feel upset at my ramblings etc en I can reciprocate by not sending one back either – fair’s fair in such cases.

One thing about scribbling away on these intellectual offerings –please, please, it’s nothing I assure you and many would or will agree on that point – is that they can and do attract criticism.

This is quite rightly so as that is what life is about as it’s both ‘rough and smooth’, although in some cases it’s perhaps just down to whatever soap you use as if it’s rough all the while, perhaps best to try another breed of soap.

Some observations are a delight to get, some amazing while others can be appalling as one cracker led the field (so far and counting..) as the comments were both constructive and intriguing with a third bit called physically demanding as to where I should stick them as not being a contortionist it would have been tricky had I done as suggested.

One classic example a while back had nine spelling errors in the two, thankfully brief paragraphs (yes, it stretched to two whole paragraphs) but he did get my name right though – or if I changed my name by deed poll to Wood, it might well have been.

I think he may have run out of ink as there was no return address so I could write back and return his letter with the spelling errors highlighted but have to advise he would not be getting his ‘gold star’ on this occasion.

As a minor aside it did, however, prompt me to get my birth certificate out and to make sure yet again about my parentage and yes, I can confirm I did have one of each.

Possibly one surprising one that came not so long ago – or ‘mid-virus season’ as we call it now – was our postman came with a letter addressed to me by name (spelt right) with just the village name but being the resourceful chap like what he is, surmised it was for me.

It was from Rita, something of a ‘fan’ by all accounts – see, it does and can happen but two in a lifetime is good going I am told. Selwyn, the other, should be out in a few months time with good behaviour and has threatened to visit, with an eye on any travel restrictions that might be in place.

In passing, he tells me that he has never seen any of the ponies on Dartmoor from his window but somebody on the next floor down, right hand side, has.

Back to Rita who it seems is not far off the same age range as Helen Mirren although they both went to different schools as children it would appear so that perhaps might be the reason they never really got to meet.

What is interesting with Rita is she (as she states in her latest dispatch) was one of seven children but they never went hungry despite being brought up around WW2 as her mother could ‘make something out of nowt’ to eat she assures me.

Although some things were more difficult at the time as the family mangle (early primitive form of non powered spin dryer) only had one wooden roller due to rationing.

This might well answer why you see in someWW2 photos telegraph poles wrapped in barbed wire around the bases as this must have been to stop or deter people from sawing them down to make mangle rollers from them.

However, the reason she described her mother being skilled in the cooking area is Rita is slightly annoyed about the recent argument about free school meals because her mother had a certain pride and considered it her duty to provide for her family.

Rita hails from a different era in our country’s history where there were such things as pride and self sufficiency as opposed to the world we now have, for better or worse, that seems to have lost all charm, common sense and values where in some cases interest is to learn of the latest features on a new mobile phone.

My own grumble is the unending adverts on the telly for gambling – I counted five different ones the other week in one advert break/endurance course alone – ranging from casino antics to ‘online bingo’ that clog the world up.

Somebody I know is constantly threatening to ‘put his boot through the screen’ when anything regarding gambling adverts appear but it has been pointed out he would have to constantly be buying more tellies to keep up with the demand – and you can bet on that.

However, I do have to wonder at the (small) warning or advice (?) on most if not all of these adverts which advises to ‘gamble responsively’ which surely is a contradiction in terms if you cast an eye over these words in a dictionary.

Meanwhile Rita still knits her own bookmarkers as she reads a lot.



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