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WARD'S WORLD: A look at the year so far


By Spalding Today Columnist


Although we are in June, the rainfall is more in tune with February or March, but it’s quite possible to blame it on either global warming, Brexit, can’t get the wood anymore, or the last government.

Based on the fact we are, until further notice, half way through the year I thought I ought to have a half year report relating to my jottings. It is quite interesting - from my point of view - that I get asked about past topics I have scribbled about. Some people are reading it and readership may well hit double figures at this rate. Also mere weeks after my ramblings, they can still remember reading certain themes but want to know of any possible outcomes or updates about the subject matter, so hopefully the following may be enlightening - or not.

John ready for a mission into the unknown (12965345)
John ready for a mission into the unknown (12965345)

In no particular order the following is based on some of the questions I’ve been asked.

Surprisingly there were quite a few inquiries about my granddad, on my father’s side of the family, from when I related his First World War activities here. One question that has cropped up about him being: ‘If he was alive today, what would he be famous or known for?’ The short answer is possibly old age as he would be 137 years of age - the sheer cost of the candles for the cake does not bear thinking about and the ‘save the planet’ brigade would be banging on about the ‘carbon footprint’ for it, but he always wore good stout leather boots, apart from when going to bed!

The Brexit malarkey was quite something and getting any sense from it is akin to knitting with fog as, like the Loch Ness Monster, ‘nobody really knows for sure’. The key question I am often being asked is did anybody provide the answer to the question I posed: ‘When did we vote to hand over our sovereignty and law making to another country to do as they please?’ But on this I have to admit failure as most seem to think, like myself, it was supposed to be about trade between assorted countries, but it seems we vastly got it wrong - again.

Although if anybody can provide background details, such as the time and date this happened, and when, in theory, millions went to vote on this, I would be very grateful and will/would share it here once it’s received. As to that possible outcome I also believe a man or woman can fly unaided by the same virtue.

My observations about being ‘written off’ by my school teacher just before leaving school to go out into ‘the big wide world’, seems to have jarred a few people with their own situations. It would take a few pages here to list just some of the similar ‘words of support’ they also received, but once again it seems predominantly downbeat. It’s nice that so many took the same attitude as myself in taking it as a ‘red rag to a bull’ gesture to prove them wrong.

On the subject of schools I related about recycling discarded stuff for constructing a climbing frame/activity centre for a playgroup. My friend Brian and I battled against the self styled elite to achieve our aims and it was still in use after 30 years. It seems to have had an effect on some readers who have contacted me about making their own frames and could I help. I have put that in the tray marked ‘We shall see’.

The ongoing, seemingly endless upheaval of temporary traffic lights and holes dug can only mean it’s Whaplode - not to confused with similar named bomb craters elsewhere. Some of those living there have been kind enough to say I only scratched the surface as its still a constant ongoing nightmare. No sooner has one lot gone, than another seems to be ‘waiting in the blocks’ to get there to dig even more sections of road up. At this rate it could become a tourist attraction in its own right. ‘See the Lights - the Holes - the Barriers - Yes, it’s got to be Whaplode”. It could set new trends in ‘Road Up Parties’. But it’s early days yet, so who knows?

The franchises for promotional tee shirts, mugs and baseball caps are in the early stages of being sorted. They would have been done by now, but they are having trouble getting through with samples due to the temporary traffic lights in Whaplode!

Eating out was, and still is, a popular subject with so many complaining about the‘Phone Fiddlers’, who have more interest in playing with their phones than eating the food, once it’s photographed and sent on to millions of supposed followers. A nurse suggested in the near future the NHS will be overcrowded with those suffering with ‘Cricked Neck Syndrome’ due to leaning to see their device screens - remember where you heard this first, folks.

I feel I could write a book based on people’’s own experiences of doctor’s surgeries or waiting rooms. It’s not so much as people’s aliments or medical problems that are intriguing but it’s the bits you hear that make you wonder if your own problem is really all that worth going along for an assessment or opinion.

I recently popped in to see my own doctor but it was the time spent in the waiting area that was so disappointing as I didn’t really hear anything mind numbing, unlike the time before when the following nugget was overheard.

I have to admit that I sometimes feel guilty as I tend to think I have something physically wrong with me, hence going there. Unlike the following where two ladies of ‘a certain age’ were nattering when I thought one was having an attack or fit as she looked into her acquaintance’s eyes as she said: ‘I’ve forgot what I’ve come about..’ to which the gent near me rolled his eyes, muttered something about somebody with a possible celestial background, then looked at me before saying ‘Never mind missed appointments - it’s those who turn up and don’t even know if there is anything wrong with them that bothers me’.

I had never seen him before but I would get the skateboard out the shed, oil the wheels, then go and vote for him if the opportunity arose as he had his ‘eye on the ball’ and spoke it as he saw it.

So the last few months have been eventful – I think.



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