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WARD'S WORLD: The Whaplode lights

I was wandering around Spalding town centre recently when somebody approached me to inquire if I was local - yes, sort of I replied - then did I know ‘the date of the next Flower Parade?’ to which I replied, from memory, I thought the last one was about 2013 before the swift reply of he didn’t know it had changed to an evening event as the last one he went to ‘the other year’ (?) was an afternoon affair - he thought.

Just when you think nothing can amaze anymore, such as a ‘Buy one boxing glove, get one free’ deal (but be careful as you can end up with two lefts or two rights) I explained that the 2013 was the year and not the hour as in nearly quarter past eight in old money.

Bearing in mind he seemed to think the last one he went to was ‘the other year’ (?!) if his memory was right, I was tempted to ask if that was the case what sort of time warp had he entered just after attending it with minor points as who was running - in theory at least - the government of the day then, but more importantly were we still in with a chance of being wiped out in the Eurovision Song Fiasco with getting our usual ‘Nil ponts’ as they say in Euroland speak as we merely attend to make the number up and capitalise on the humiliation as it’s what we do best, be humiliated.

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