Like many people I have been rooted to the sofa watching the Olympics in Rio.
I’ve cheered on Team GB, despite finding the term quite irritating, and have run, swam and cycled every metre without having to exert any real effort at all, apart from swapping between events on the Red Button.
I’d like to share a few random thoughts that crossed my mind when I was enjoying the spectacle.
1. Which sports would be improved if, like the elimination race in the cycling omnium, a participant is ejected at the end of every lap? Motor racing perhaps?
2. Do they recruit derny riders for the keirin race from Domino’s?
3. Wouldn’t it be funny if the mums of the swimmers and divers all lined up on the edge of the pool with a large fluffy towel to warm their shivering kiddies when they get out - better than that tiny wisp of a flannel the divers use, surely?
4. Did presenter Clare Balding ever wish for a seat during the day when she was on duty outside the stadium?
5. Why don’t they give medals to the winning horses in the equestrian events?
6. I wonder what German diver, Stephan Feck, said when he failed to win a medal.
7. Why do male divers remove every bit of hair from their bodies but not from their heads?
8. If the Olympians receive honours, will multi-gold winning cyclist, Laura Trott, be known as Dame Trott, like Jack and the Beanstalk’s mother?
9. Would the English football team have better luck in penalty shoot-outs if they adopted the exciting hockey style of one-on-one between the attacking player and the goalie?
10. If Nick Skelton is capable of winning a gold medal for showjumping at the age of 58, can I learn a new skill in time for Tokyo in 2020?
You can follow Trish on Twitter @mumsgoneto and read her blog at www.mumsgoneto.co.uk