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TRISH TAKES FIVE - Crash, bang, wallop, what a picture!

By Spalding Today Columnist

Dougie bought me a brilliant card for our wedding anniversary. A couple are in a restaurant, each looking at their phones while the waiter proffers a dessert menu. "No thanks," replies the woman. "I couldn't take a photo of another thing..."

Ok, I do take the occasional photograph of a meal but I'm always acutely embarrassed, imagining other diners tutting at me. It's bad enough Dougie rolling his eyes, desperate to tuck into his steak and chips but prevented from doing so by me rearranging the plates.

The rise of smartphones has meant taking photos is a breeze. Remember the days when you only had a spool of 24 or, if you could afford it, 36 exposures? Each shot cost money so you couldn't waste a single one. It would be unthinkable to take a photo of your Sunday roast.

But it's not just food photography that's on the rise. Selfies are everywhere: the trend for having your own mush in every photo is becoming unstoppable. Even sombre monuments we've visited have been photographed with a gurning tourist in front of it.

Trish and Dougie with a smiling castle. (12053077)
Trish and Dougie with a smiling castle. (12053077)

I get that it can be handy for the purposes of perspective to have a person in an image but it's getting on my nerves.

Maybe I'm just envious of others who can strike a jaunty pose and look utterly relaxed. Me, I stand like a pudding and the resulting image is terribly awkward and is promptly deleted.

On our recent trip to Portugal we saw an extended family who made the whole business of posing for a photo effortless. The grandmother, with her superb bone structure and posture, was a natural.

She instructed her granddaughter in the art of sitting pretty on a bench with arms back and chin forward. I tried to copy this and just looked as if I'd dislocated both shoulders.

In France last year we saw millennials who took the art of posing to another level. Their outfits were chosen carefully to match the surroundings, they carried posies of flowers and had willing boyfriends who snapped away, catching every head toss and wistful pout.

I don't mind this, as long as it doesn't hold me up. We stood near one woman who was snapped on every step of a spiral staircase, causing a queue to form.

I'm seeing a dangerous trend, however, when it comes to finding the perfect shot. There are growing numbers willing to take unnecessary risks. Last month, in the beautiful but very popular Pena Palace in Sintra, Portugal, we witnessed two separate occasions of women perching precariously on high walls, with a sheer 30 foot drop beneath them.

It's becoming more common to hear of people who are dying in the search of the ideal image. This is crazy. I think it's safer if I stick to taking pics of my dinner. The food stays still, doesn't need to smile and if the photo is rubbish, I can just eat it.

You can read Trish's blog at www.mumsgoneto.co.uk


TRISH TAKES FIVE - An evening of coincidences


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