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Plenty of subject matter at Moulton Chapel event

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In his weekly Ward's World column, John Ward discusses events at a village show...

Recently it was a Bank Holiday Sunday moment, or more to the point a time to go along to a local event that had not taken place for the past few years due to the outbreak of the ‘You Know What’ situation we reluctantly found ourselves in on a global scale.

However, in this case it was a local village carnival event in Moulton Chapel which might not mean much to you if you are reading this online in Dubai or somebody has used this newspaper as packing material to send a parcel of paperback books to the Shetland Islands as you chanced to read this, but to us locally it was brilliant.

Columnist John Ward (56586449)
Columnist John Ward (56586449)

It was nice see this event with the assorted carnival floats and entries that was quite something after recent years of having, well, nothing but it’s the community spirit that is the key to it as the friendly atmosphere there was the thing with also assorted stalls to wander around plus local folk selling stuff ‘a la car boot’ on their front gardens and drives.

One lady had a selection of furniture - small tables and chairs etc - on a front lawn and we got chatting but it seems it was not hers but her neighbours who she was standing - or rather sitting - in for. However, I did offer my services as a store detective if things got busy... “Can’t be too careful,” I assured her, although the wages were not that fantastic but the holidays, well..

Oddly on the way back to the car, she was still there as sales had not been quite that ecstatic, static maybe, but at least she had made the effort even if it was for her neighbour.

I don’t know how or why but she said we could park in her driveway next year if we attend, so if nothing it shows faith that there will be another event next year or at least the opportunity to sell that wooden tea trolley as it may well be back in fashion by then - it’s got four corners with a wheel at the bottom of each one.

Being the friendly atmosphere that it was, I met some friends plus assorted folk who introduced themselves as fans (?) of this column so based on that, it would seem we have indeed broken into the readership double figures at last. However, it happened once before a few years ago for a short period, but Betty and husband Ron moved away, so we have now got back on form again.

Once the parade had gone by it was a case of wandering about to see what was happening at assorted stalls in general as another fan of sorts - I am truly spoiled at times - presented himself with the following conversation taking place or as near to it as possible.

The greeting of: “Are you who I think you are?” was offered but do bear in mind some folk do get me confused with the time I used to do the Tina Turner tribute act but most realise on coming up close I am shorter than Tina of course.

His lady companion gave him a swift, unsolicited whack in his ribs with her elbow as she joined in with: “Behave yourself! Cos it’s him - can’t you see it is,” but do bear in mind she said “cos it’s him” and not addressed me as being Tina so full marks there then.

She apologised for him, said she couldn’t take him anywhere twice unless to apologise for the first time (much like now sort of thing but I don’t remember him from the, if any, last time though) as he came back to join in the general fun by saying “he knew all along it was me but was just testing” although testing for what was not gone into.

We then went into the part of life’s rich tapestry that comprises colours of the spectrum and further beyond if you selected the executive package deal, as he told me that he thought my column, or this very thought provoking oracle you are reading now, was a “complete load of twaddle” but he reads it every week anyway although he “doesn’t have to” of course.

His lady companion gave him another whack in the ribs and entered the debate, one sided up to that point it’s true, with her input: “Yes, it may be twaddle but it’s good twaddle and you read it every week but you sometimes ask me what some of the big words mean when you read them,” which came over as reassuring - I think.

I made a mental note there and then not to include any big words from now on unless absolutely necessary (hang on… one.. two.. three… yep, ten letters in absolutely but I’ll let it pass this time) as I can’t really upset a potential fan.

Lady companion then upped the stakes a bit by asking Brian (that’s his name as I eventually found out although he calls me ‘thingy’) if he could write any better twaddle which seemed to bring things to a sort of grinding halt as he said he didn’t have any ideas he could think of.

I then comforted him by saying he was not alone as I was of the same mindset at times but luckily somebody had just come along and given me inspiration, as if I needed it, that had basically mapped out a possible idea for this week’s effort.

He asked if it concerned anybody he knew or lived close by as I said they were “not a million miles away” as we spoke but he was not local himself but there just to support it with some friends.

He suggested I could write something about this event but as nothing silly had happened so far, like a “lot of your twaddle seems to have happen” I replied I might well do but I will try not to put any big words in but just for Brian, via Mary Poppins, can I say the event was ‘Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious’ and hope to see you there again.

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