The quirkiest party in the political arena, The Eccentric Party of Great Britain, has more stated policies than some of its more mainstream rivals.
Moulton Seas End madcap inventor John Ward broke the news about the new party in this week’s Lincolnshire Free Press.
John, who gained fame for his various quirky inventions, has taken the roles of party chairman and Minister for Inventions.
His account of the party’s first meeting makes for slightly easier reading than the typical political news output.
He says: “On the matter of wasting public money, it was agreed there would be no more missions to Mars due to the high costs – it would now be a case of making do with Snickers instead. This motion was carried although Lulu Lush-Bouquet did say the Snickers had nuts in that got stuck in her teeth although this did not affect her whistling in any way.
“Approaches would be made to the Heinz food company to change their product range to Heinz 60 so as to go to the nearest square figure as this would help with auditing processes and save a small amount of ink. This motion was carried although the Very Reverend Pedro Perrnackerpan wondered if it was possible to enquire at the same time if they were considering manufacturing tins of beans on toast as his grill was in need of repair.
Guest speaker Giles Fromhome of the Spalding and District Mountain Climbing Club enquired about the Party’s feelings about handrails being fitted on the local mountains and after much discussion it was agreed in principle that this would be possible but only on the left-hand side going up, due to lack in resources, but it would be possible to use this facility coming back down by walking backwards, but using caution with respect of possible bumping into those going up.”