I’d like to hang on to my sunny disposition

Carolyn Aldis - her doughnut is always half full!
Carolyn Aldis - her doughnut is always half full!
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THE TOUGHTS OF A FRUITCAKE: A new column by Spalding mum of four, Christian and cake baker Carolyn Aldis

So, having decided what I was going to write about, I spent Friday afternoon writing and tweaking my article and after finishing it, showed it to my husband Saturday evening. He suggested a couple of extra words here and there and I relaxed, knowing that all I had to do Monday was send it to the Editor.

Imagine my irritation when I came back from work Monday afternoon and having looked again, he commented on my article, saying “It isn’t your best.”

I stared at him. The words “Why didn’t you say this Saturday?!” pushed their way through my gritted teeth and I flounced off. I would have to start from scratch. So I decided to paint this scenario that has led me to write about disappointment.

There are everyday little disappointments that don’t cause too much pain…like the jam doughnut that has no jam in it, the trip to the supermarket for one specific thing, only to find that it is out of stock, coming home to find that a parcel needed signing for and is now at the depot…little things.

Then there are the bigger things…my friend who was too sick to come to her own baby shower, my parents mishearing the name of my first born daughter and telling all their friends the wrong name (thankfully, we only got one card with the wrong name), the person who burned a hole through our trampoline, the major disappointment of a failed relocation and then today’s disappointment that I don’t always get it right first time. (That’s such an alien feeling…)

There are everyday little disappointments that don’t cause too much pain…like the jam doughnut that has no jam in it

My natural outlook on life is optimistic, the glass half full view and so I find disappointment really tough to bounce back from.

It has to be one of the hardest emotions to get through and we don’t always make it to the other side. When we have been disappointed too many times, the pain of it stops us from feeling hope… we don’t allow ourselves to feel hopeful for anything and then when it doesn’t come off, we are not left disappointed. If it does happen, then we are pleasantly surprised.

This sounds like a good plan, but in reality it doesn’t work. Emotions are there to be used fully, so if we dampen down any, we dampen them all.

For example, that relocation I mentioned earlier didn’t happen when we thought it should…we had a job, a house and a whole new life about to be started and it all fell apart. The disappointment was compounded by the fact it was my birthday and nearly Christmas…a pretty bleak one that year.

But fast forward a year and we had the offer of another job, a better house and better place to live and how much sweeter was the move, knowing what we had come through to get it.

What I’ve learned is I would much rather feel the occasional kick in the stomach of disappointment and keep my sunny disposition than walk around with a wall of protection that nothing gets through.

I have got through my first column…I hope you are not disappointed