Guardian Angel’s observations...

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l MOOCHING around Spalding one lunchtime last week, Angel was surprised to see a man treating a Henry the Hoover as though it were a dog! He was pulling it along the pavement by a lead and looking back lovingly to make sure it was ok!

l One of Angel’s friends was left a little red-faced when for the second time in as many weeks he thought he had spotted a thief sawing through a bicycle lock. He stormed over, spun the “criminal” round and asked him what he was playing at. Shocked by the sudden assault, the terrified man replied: “Pumping my tyre up.”

l On her travels recently, Angel has seen a gorilla advertising pizza in King’s Lynn and Spongebob Squarepants plugging a car wash in Wisbech... but all they give the poor Domino’s Pizza chap in Spalding is a billboard.

l Spongebob was the only good thing about her trip to Wisbech though. Judging by the amount of bare male chests in Asda it seems many of the men there have spent so much money on tattoos that they cannot afford shirts.

l BEWARE of predictive text when tweeting football reports from your mobile phone! The Guardian editor found that out to his cost on Saturday when he said Holbeach had every chance of matching “St Iced” (St Ives) for the “UFO” (UCL) League.

l While on the subject of football, Angel is delighted those lovely Holbeach lads are doing so well this season but was shocked when she saw their football programme on the sports editor’s desk yesterday. A blank page where a youth round-up should be and another blank promising: “Photos will appear here”. If the Tigers do as well as they did last season, the programme should be rammed with good stuff by May.

l Sensible Santa Claus has a flat-packed grotto. Angel was enjoying a cuppa outside McDonald’s in Spalding on Tuesday when a man in a car whizzed by with a trailer on the back. Angel began reading the upside down writing – SANTAS – on the upright boards in the trailer. Angel thought it a tad too early to have Christmas cards in the shops last month, but was glad to see the grotto because she can advise Santa’s little helper that the grotto needs an apostrophe S in SANTAS before the big day.

l Angel is sending her warmest wishes to the tractor driver from TH Clements who not only saw the lay-by on the A16 near McDonald’s yesterday morning but actually drove into it and let queues of grateful motorists whizz by.

But she’s not so pleased with the car driver who overtook a tractor travelling towards the A16 power station roundabout and forced Angel to choose between a head-on crash or a dive to the verge for safety.