Guardian Angel - our girl about town...

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n OVERHEARD by Angel in a bar in South Holland:

Man one: “Do you know why the Paralympic Games is called the Paralympic Games?”

Man two: “No, why?”

Man one: “Because it runs in parallel with the Olympic Games.”

And he was totally serious!

n IN a bid to lose her love handles, Angel has taking up running again.

While jogging through Lutton last week she looked down to see a dyke filled with new potatoes. What’s that all about?

n ANGEL has a friend who has been told by his doctor to cut down on his cholesterol.

Said friend is now biking the 400 YARDS to the pub seven nights a week before enjoying his four pints.

n A WARNING now to all drivers not to go over the line when stopping at traffic lights.

Angel stopped at the Kings Road/Pinchbeck Road junction on day last week, behind a car that had edged over the line.

This may not seem the worst crime in the world, but must have been pretty frustrating for the blind man with a stick, who walked carefully down the crossing before colliding with the vehicle.

n TWO cheerful little girls came dashing out of McDonalds in Spalding the other night and counted themselves down for a simultaneous balloon release. As two blue balloons soared high into the sky and wafted along towards Weston there was a bit of an afterthought.

One said: “Oh no. I should have written a letter to Santa at the North Pole.”

n A sign of the times on a car sticker: “I’m not drunk – just avoiding potholes.”

It’s almost too accurate to be funny. We could also do with a sticker that mentions the exposed drain covers and also the ones that are sunken and claim most of your wheel if you are unlucky enough to fall in.

It cost more than £30 the last time Angel paid for tracking to properly align her chariot’s wheels. She did think of sending the bill straight to the county council.

n Doctors’ receptionists have a reputation for being overly-protective of GPs to the point where we can’t seem to get an appointment at the time we need to go.

But their efforts pale beside those of the parish clerk at Gedney Hill.

The parish council website says: “All councillors may be contacted through the parish clerk.” One of Angel’s reporter friends contacted Mrs Harrison and asked to speak to the chairman, but she would only say she didn’t want him “disturbed”.

Asked why – or if he was poorly – Mrs Harrison said: “I don’t want you to speak to the chairman right now.”

The clerk confirmed repairs to the vandalised play area had been carried out that day.

And the cost?

Mrs Harrison stood firm: “I have no idea and I would not have told you any way.”