TRISH TAKES FIVE: By Trish Burgess
“How about we make a TV programme where we film people watching TV?”
I wonder what the Channel 4 executives made of that pitch when it was first made to them? Three years since it first aired, Gogglebox is a huge hit, winning a whole host of awards.
When Dougie and I are watching the TV in the evening, we often wonder whether we would make good Gogglebox participants as we sit in the same position on the sofa, supping coffee/wine/tea/beer and putting the world to rights.
It sounds like a great idea to be paid for watching the telly but would I really want the world to see me at my most comfortable? Would viewers look at us and our living room and pick faults or make judgements. I’m sure they would spot that bit on the wall where Dougie filled in a screw hole and didn’t sand it down enough before painting over it. Imagine having to constantly hoover and plump up the cushions.
The thought of a video camera watching my every move is quite terrifying. No more slouching or scratching. No more letting my chin rest on my chest or unbuttoning my jeans for a breather. I would have to touch up my make-up all the time: apply lippy and powder for the benefit of the camera.
Then there’s the issue of what to wear. Heavens, I would have to buy a whole new wardrobe of co-ordinating leisurewear.
I look at the Gogglebox families and wonder who we most resemble. We don’t dress well enough in the evenings to be like Steph and Dom, even on wine nights, and we’re not quite the right age to resemble June and Leon.
I’m not sure we are quite as refined as Giles (Alan Bennett looky-likey) and Mary though I do like his dry sense of humour and her colourful tights. I have to admit, we own a chocolate biscuit stash like the Malones, though try not to leave it on the pouffe like they do, as that’s asking for trouble...and we haven’t even got any dogs sniffing around.
My Newcastle background probably places me in the Moffat family. Daughter Scarlett is the most vociferous but I reckon I’m more like her mother, Betty Moffat, particularly with her penchant for large fluffy slippers.
When our son, Rory, returns from university, however, the sofa dynamic is altered. I am relegated to second sofa and son reclaims his rightful place next to his father where they can talk sport and he can fiddle, annoyingly, with the table lamp. If Gogglebox filmed us in these positions, I would be mostly in the distance, out of shot, stretched out like Cleopatra, with just my precious utterances ricocheting off the walls.
Who wouldn’t want to watch that?
You can follow Trish on Twitter @mumsgoneto and read her blog at www.mumsgoneto.blogspot.com