GUARDIAN ANGEL: The latest musings from our girl about town

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There was momentary light relief from the trepidation as one of Angel’s colleagues waited ahead of a ride on a rollercoaster which hangs riders upside down.

On G-Force at Drayton Manor Park is a small sign, hardly noticeable because its aimed at ride operators....“No big boys in seat 6”

Fortunately he was in a front seat with his wife, who never refers to his size.

• Angel was delighted to hear from her seven-year-old niece that she could now talk a few words in French.

“I can say “Hello Miss,” the little cutie informed her. “Go on then,” said Angel.

“It’s “au revoir monsieur!” trumpeted the little one. Oh dear.

• Angel’s sorry to report seeing a second bizarre and slightly disturbing incident in Spalding in as many weeks.

Firstly she witnessed two shop staff members chasing a man near Winsover Centre car park, catch him, see him wriggle away, then be caught again and sat upon near the railway station.

On Tuesday she came across two guys talking in the middle of the road - one on a bike. Suddenly what appeared to be a friendly chat exploded and the guy on the bike was turfed off and bloke number two rode off on it.

Answers on a postcard please.

• A roadside cafe on the A15 near Lincoln really is clearly keen on marketing and is pushing every one of its benefits.

Its sign: “£12 overnight parking fee includes meal, hot shower, good TV reception”.

• Angel’s friend was on a flight landing in London and on arrival police boarded the aircraft and arrested two young men.

Although she never discovered what they had done, she was highly amused when, at the baggage reclaim carousel, she spotted said youths in handcuffs waiting for their luggage and one of them was trying to make small talk with the police. “Virgin have upgraded their entertainment system,” he said. “They’ve now got touchscreens.”

It’s safe to say the police officer was not interested in the slightest.

• Imagine six women stripping off on stage at South Holland Centre in Spalding, using only bread buns and knitting wool to preserve their decency, and you might expect the audience to catch an unintended glimpse of something they weren’t meant to see.

However, Angel’s source reports that the cast of St Nicolas Players juggled their props skillfully and no one saw anything untoward!