TRISH TAKES FIVE: By Trish Burgess
It’s nearing the end of the school year. Teachers are frazzled, children are tired and parents aren’t sure whether to be grateful for six weeks without school runs or fearful of a whole summer having to entertain their little ones.
Just to add more stress to the mix, sports day will be on the agenda. Here are my thoughts, with tongue firmly in cheek, on what you might see at a primary school sports day.
1. Hares. There will be a child in every class who runs like the wind. They are off like a shot from the start but occasionally forget to stop, continuing after the finish line until someone can catch them.
2. Tortoises. Despite shouts of encouragement, they just don’t see the need for speed. They will, of course, happily wave to their families, stopping frequently to do so.
3. Competitive parents. Armed with a stopwatch, their voices can be heard urging their offspring to run faster. They will have been practising for some weeks and know personal bests, lap times and how to stay upright in a potato sack.
4. Big spoons. If the school allows parents to bring their own cutlery for the egg and spoon race, look out for spoons of ladle-like proportions.
5. Blu-tack. To ensure egg stays firmly attached to spoon.
6. Keen dads. Despite saying they don’t really want to be involved, there will be fathers who don running shoes and leap into action, elbowing their mates out of the way.
7. Injuries. Dads running with gusto after no warm-up (see above) are at risk from a sprained ankle, torn hamstring and wounded pride.
8. Unsuitable weather. If it’s scheduled for Wimbledon fortnight it is bound to rain so the event will be cancelled. On the other hand, too much sun and the kiddies will start collapsing from the heat. They may be lathered in Factor 50 but there’ll still be a spot that gets missed.
9. Arguments. Young children have a habit of slowing down as they reach the finishing line so they often all get there at the same time. This makes deciding on a winner virtually impossible. Cue parental outrage and the submission of photographic evidence.
10. Prizes. Some schools still have winners; others ensure everyone is rewarded. If your child comes home with the ‘best effort’ rosette, you can be sure they’re no Usain Bolt.
You can follow Trish on Twitter @mumsgoneto and read her blog at www.mumsgoneto.co.uk