Now if I was the next PM...

Theresa May
Theresa May

THOUGHTS OF A FRUITCAKE: By Carolyn Aldis

So, after the most bizarre few weeks in politics, where the threat of Boris as leader seemed like small fry compared to other twists in the plot, we are getting a new Prime Minister. The way the media can turn on an individual and complain about smear campaigns whilst busy conducting their own is frankly astounding and it just goes to show how a week really is a long time in politics.

By the time you read this, Theresa May will be Prime Minister…unless of course, there is some other takeover attempt; for all I know, Trump might have his eye on the job and honestly, stranger things have happened.

As I listened to the Radio 4 presenter announcing that Andrea Leadsom had stepped down and now Theresa May had it in the bag (she didn’t use those words, but you get the picture) I began to wonder if she has already worked out how she is going to lead us, come October.

Then the news came through that David Cameron was to leave on Wednesday, after PM Question Time and I thought, “Oh my word, talk about having to cram it all in,” like leaving your homework for the entire summer holidays until the night before school and then trying to write a 10,000-word essay on David Copperfield.

Anyway, all this got me thinking what would be my manifesto, or womanifesto as I am sure it will now be called. What policies would I want to see implemented as Prime Minister?

In no particular order:

n An outright ban on spitting in the street, the selling of alcohol and cigarettes in shops and the wearing of trousers so low, I can see far too much. Pull them up.

n Shouting would be forbidden, particularly at children. The Introduction of ration books for fatty and sugary foods – I know I could certainly do with some help.

n Bigger and better playparks for all ages, even adults, in every village, town and city.

n I would want shops to be shut on Sundays…I know emergency workers need to work, but we don’t need to be deciding whether to buy a new sofa, while our kids race around the shop…we could all do with a rest.

I then thought a bit more seriously…would I want England to be a Christian country, where the Bible and prayers would be taught in all schools and children forced to go to Sunday school?

This seemed too intolerant and demanding and I quite like having different religions because then we still have free will and choice. It isn’t a good idea for one religion to be dominating over others.

My friend’s slightly controversial idea is interesting… giving a year’s warning to all that all benefits, with the exception of disability allowance, would be stopped, enabling those who can work, to find a job, those who cannot find work, to come to some kind of agreement within the community, where they barter their services in exchange for those of others, a world where everyone looks out for each other.

I might not get many votes, but then neither has Theresa May… anything can happen.