Guardian Angel...

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Angel thought she’d been woken during the night by most things over the years.

The clubbers making their way home, the boy racers warming their tyres, even that earthquake with its epicentre in Market Rasen a few years back.

But a whole new noise broke the silence in the Spalding area and woke her with a start at 12.41am on Wednesday morning.

It sounded for all the world like a chainsaw at work.

The stuff of nightmares really, but she managed to drift off to sleep again after reassuring herself in Nick Ross Crimewatch-style.

nAngel’s editor found out what a small world it is while holidaying in the Peak District last week, bumping into the headteacher from Tydd St Mary School at Monkey Forest on day one, the Heights of Abraham on day two and Waterworld on day five.

nAt the end of the same holiday he asked his children to mark the break out of ten. “One hundred,” said the first little girl. “One thousand,” added the second. “Eight-and-a-half,” said the little boy. “It was good but there’s always room for improvement.”

nAngel was amused while driving behind a lorry on her way to work yesterday morning. The “Del’s Nursery” vehicle was decked out with the Only Fools and Horses Robin Reliant van colours, had pictures of Del and Rodney Trotter on the back and the logo: “New York... Paris... Sculthorpe.”

nOn the same journey Angel was very apologetic after crushing a stray courgette.

The loose vegetable fell out of a man’s shopping bag and rolled under her car wheels as she stopped to park. Oh dear.

nAngel turned devil without meaning to yesterday when she parked her car in Spalding’s Spring Gardens and left the window open all day long.

A couple of months ago she actually left her keys in the car with the door unlocked in adjoining Spring Street. Both times her chariot was still there hours later with all its contents intact (on the first occasion thanks to a saintly householder who kept the keys for her). Bless.

nSpalding’s Wetherspoon pub The Ivy Wall’s keep cool strategy is just genius. Open the monster window that takes up the entire wall facing the street and let the fresh air in. Thanks for that, ’spoons!

nAngel’s little niece was watching a programme about weather phenomena when she asked: “What on earth would we do if a salami hit Long Sutton?”

nTop marks for bravery for the policeman who stepped out in the road in front of a speeding, wheel spinning driver in Spalding’s Sheepmarket yesterday afternoon.

PC Invincible even let the driver go with a stern warning after their little chat.