Breaking my heart without even knowing

Kate and Nancy Chapman
Kate and Nancy Chapman

Children can be cruel – it’s a phrase I’ve often heard but never really been subjected to the full horror of until last week.

Now you’re probably thinking that Nancy has fallen victim to some bigger, even more boisterous tot – but alas no, she was the one dishing out the cruelty, albeit mentally.

Perhaps my description is a little harsh; in all honesty I know she didn’t understand what she was doing but nevertheless it was still too much as far as I was concerned. And who was her poor, unsuspecting victim? Oh, yes – me.

We’d gone to a new dance group, which turned out to be ballet (!) – the ad said it was for children aged one to three, but in hindsight I think she’s too young to get to grips with her ‘good toes, naughty toes’ just yet.

But I digress. We were getting into the warm up, or rather I was – Nancy was much more interested in running off to look out of the window, despite my best efforts to keep retrieving her, point blank refusing to join in and wouldn’t hold my hand while we danced round in a circle.

Instead she made a bee-line for one of the other mums – who we’d never met before – and promptly glued herself to her side. She held her hand and followed her round, and then sat on her knee.

I was absolutely gutted. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and torn my heart out – well that’s probably a bit of an exaggeration but you get my drift.

The whole thing, I’m rather ashamed to admit, left me feeling quite put out and upset.

Perhaps she was getting her own back on me for ducking her in the swimming pool the week before, although in my defence, our swim school teacher had encouraged us to do it, and she hadn’t seemed all that bothered at the time...

On the other hand, perhaps she just gets fed up of being with me all the time?

It’s the not the first time this has happened either. There’ve been a couple of groups we’ve been to where she’s decided to attach herself to someone else – and the whole saga only serves in leaving me feeling nothing short of bereft and it winds up the other tots, who don’t want to share their adult.

On a serious note though, I’m not sure whether to be pleased that she’s not too clingy or concerned that she’s quite so eager to make friends with complete strangers.

I suppose I’d better get used to it, as there’s going to come a point where she doesn’t want to be with me at all.

But still, to be disowned by her when she’s only 17 months old is a little disappointing, to say the least.

Kids, got to love em eh?